When I Survive

When I Survive 

I won’t rush to get to my university lectures 

And I won’t get angry if dinner is late 

When I get back from my gym workout 

I’ll take a warm shower and think about making major decisions 

I’ll tell my mom I love you a thousand times 

I’ll make her hug me and kiss me 

A smile and tenderness, so that her hug, and kiss on my face are with me everywhere like my imagination 

I’ll make popcorn and grape juice to watch a Robert De Niro movie in my little room. 

I won’t feel stressed during the week of final university exams 

I will balance my studies with watching Real Madrid in the knockout stages of the Champions League, the Champions League nights, I will watch Vini and Valverde score goals 

And I won’t go home straight away, I will go for a walk in the park and smell the fresh air and the daffodils 

When I get back home from the park 

I will make my own food, cheese, tea, bread and olives 

I will make a list of cities I want to visit, London, Rome, Brussels, Mallorca, Istanbul, Paris, Cardiff, a long list of cities because traveling will be a psychological relief and a vacation from this tiring life, 

And Madrid to watch my favorite team there in the Spanish capital, I will watch the match with my friends and we will go to the cinema together 

And I will read the weather news in the cities I want to visit to know how to choose my favorite weather 

When I survive 

I will not stay up late, I will set an alarm early so I can wake up early, I want to sleep peacefully because for more than a whole year I have not slept well and I am tired of the insomnia that has eaten my body 

And I will not go quickly in the morning to the grocery store, I will walk slowly to the park and smell the fresh air and drink coffee and read the newspaper 

When I start over 

I will finish my first study in international relations and diplomacy, 

And I will finally achieve success after stopping the genocide and completing my studies at Al-Azhar University so that the name of my university will be with me everywhere 

I will make my graduation party with my birthday because I love to be born again with knowledge, we will celebrate together with my friends, I will be there at the Café Palestina in London and it will be a beautiful party finally, 

I will read my articles and my graduation thesis, we will eat the delicious orange cake and smile a lot while taking souvenir photos, and after a beautiful day I will go home to make new success plans that I have drawn in my imagination. 

When I survive 

I will not have breakfast quickly, I will drink coffee and smell the air quietly with Fairuz’s music, I will drink water with roses in the morning, as roses are my beautiful friend always with me on my desk in the room. 

And I will not delay reading my mailbox in the morning, in the morning with the rise of a new sun a new hope is born with the sun 

When I go to the city, I will take a big tour in the central library and smell the books, knowledge, culture, philosophy, history, politics, psychology, literature, poetry and many sciences, 

I will make a list of books in law, politics, diplomacy and philosophy so that I can buy them from there, and I will write them with me in my daily notebook and I will live with these beautiful books, they will be my friend everywhere 

I will read books, I will start to recover and I will heal with the pharmacy of books, 

I will finally go to the garden with tea, cakes and sweets, smell the comfortable air and the sound of birds singing, and Yahya reading. 

One day, one day, perhaps, soon, we will survive this genocide, let us dream again, let us see what will happen in the end, oh my friend. 

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                October 24, 2024

And After a Long Wait, a Hug

I will meet you soon, Gaza. 

It’s just a matter of days. 

I will walk barefoot on the first step of your land; 

I want my skin to touch and stick with you, my dear. 

Your emptiness, and my longing for you, have filled the Earth, 

the solar system, even the space and the Milky Way. 

I love you so much, Gaza. 

Your scent has a voice that reminds me of life— 

Your sea, your air, the streets of your city, 

The alleys of the camp, the university, 

The breeze of the north, and the whispers at night. 

I was so late to meet you, 

But please, wait for me just one more week. 

I will have an appointment with you— 

I will hug you and kiss your soil, 

And I will water your land with my tears. 

I’ve tried so hard, 

And now, with the approach of our meeting, I am born again. 

My name is now among the survivors of genocide. 

I will survive, and I will learn, 

I will travel the world in your name. 

I will raise your name everywhere: Free Palestine. 

It feels like I have a permanent appointment with you. 

The meeting is near, 

The embrace is near, 

The kissing of the earth is near. 

Please, time— 

Be swift this time. 

I want my wound to finally heal

By kissing your land, Gaza, 

And sitting with you, 

Talking about the journey of survival that has exhausted my body.

Gaza, our meeting is approaching. 

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 January 19, 2025

The Sound of Birds

Good morning my adored homeland

It is 7AM in Jerusalem time, the capital of Palestine

Maybe I can say I am winning today

with the title of Active Man

I arranged the wood logs

and lit them up to make my coffee

and in my hand is Shakespeare’s theatre work

The sky is clear and the sun is beautiful

Coffee

and a book

and calmness with the sound of birds chirping

The sound of children started coming out,

playing to forget the cruelty of the war a little

I face war and I make beautiful things

There are things stronger than the sound of bombings

which doesn’t stop

I dream one day soon

to wake up,

me, and my neighbours, the kids

to the sound of birds that sing

without the sound of bombs

Without an evil and malicious bombing

Just the sound of birds

I don’t want more,

than the sound of the birds

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    May 16, 2025